Tantra-sexuality workshop (or what came out of it)

Yesterday, I went to a day-festival of Tantra, held in Chelsea Town Hall.

The tickets for it were a whole story, my friend Paul B, now officially fallen out with for that reason (but who may not know about it), had told me originally I needed to buy tickets which were £55 in advance but for which he could get a discount of £5 with a certain code.

At the time I wasn't interested in going as I am not keen on trantra stuff, told him I wouldn't go. I feel mildly drawn to it only because it is a different way from what I do and could orient me towards something which does help others in a sense. Though, does Tantra help?

A few days before, I changed my mind and I told him I actually better go because before having preconceptions about Tantra which I know very little of, I should really immerse myself in it and feel what it feels like. To go to that tantra festival would be a taster, and I was going to get a couple of tickets, one for Robert whom I felt would benefit from the experience and one for me.

At that point, Paul had replied that he was now half manager of the event and there were strong possibilities that he could get me in for free. At that point, I didn't bother telling him I was thinking of taking Rob with me - not wanting to look like a sucker on his free tickets. So I didn't say anything and booked a ticket for Robert.

He told me that one of the options of getting me in free would involve contacting his goddess friend to see if she would employ me for 3 hours to wash feet (was it called Feet Washing priestress?) and that would get in for free. If that didn't work and his friend didn't reply (which she obviously didn't) he seemed very sure of himself that he could get me in for free anyway - because of his involvment in the festival.

I was happy to be told that in such sure tone, and started spending the promised ticket money elsewhere.




Time passed, it was now the day before the festival. I was with Laura and her friends who were performing their first song in public, (it was wonderful) and I decided to call Paul to find out about those tickets, it was 5.30pm.

I had not heard anymore from him about the ticket nor the feet washing.
An embarassed and busy sounding Paul answered. TO my "So, can you get me a ticket or not?" he baffled away something which was not very clear.
He told me about the costs of hiring the hall, the catering, the blablabla and the etc and actually they were not making any profit so I should better ring quickly and get myself a ticket before the ticket office closed as the receptionnist needed to get the lists in for the next morning and she may close early. I said to him, "So that means you can't get me a free ticket anymore? ".
He said no, that he couldn't. He had given the only free ticket he had to another friend.
I was shocked. Not for the friend, but for his 'promise'.

I said nothing more.
I got through to the ticket office eventually and could get a ticket, but I was stressed... If only he had told me before!!!


Well, after that, I didn't really feel like speaking with him.
The point isn't that he didn't get me in for free and I had to pay those £50, since I was ready to do this from the beginning anyway, and it was my own fault to have spent the money elsewhere.
But it was the fact that he had never got back to me, and probably wouldn't have neither as he probably had felt stupid promissing me something that he then couldn't achieve, and had prefered to not say anything and possibly hope I would forget about him. ???
It annoyed me that I had to call him up, the evening before, with very little time left for anything like that, and he just didn't let me know in advance that he coudln't get that ticket.

This, to me, is a huge disappointment and I even got an indigestion after all that had happened. Such an indigestion that I had to write about it in the pub, before Laura and Al's performance, to make me feel better.

I was not especially friendly to Paul at the festival, as a result. It felt a bit like a cold shower. I just can't really trust people who would do something like that to me, and not let me know.
In fact, Terry should have stopped talking to me ages ago. I think I let him down a couple of times on outings. But didn't I always say? Even at last notice? Never I have let down someone without telling them I would do so.

Except to Paul, tonight, as I was meant to see him; though, I did say last night as I left, grudgedly, that I wasn't sure about meeting today. Meaning, probably not. But I didn't want to get into any talking.

Oh well. As Greg would say, one has to get over such things in order for friendships to florish and feed themselves. Maybe I will forgive him in a few months.

We shall see. What came out of the tantra workshop in the end was hilarious, a lot of trauma came up other than the ticket thing, and I ended up doing 1 workshop in the afternoon (drawn about) and in the evening after many hours spent in Starbux, I did join a Glastonberry music group which played celtic music and allowed the audience to join in. Some amazing family healing occured during one of the songs.

That, and the drawings, were well worth £50.

Tantra?

I don't think it is really for me, though. But...Have I submerged myself in it enough to really know? Possibly not.
I don't think I will be ready for it even in 40 years. But I shall look at Quoduska, which has attracted me very much since a few months. (a different energetical therapeutic sexual stuff thing which is more aboriginal and not based on indian yogi stuff)